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Mother’s Day
By Anna Alexander (mother, grandmother)
…are you remembered on Mother’s day? Does your family forget? Your
husband too? Do you feel anger? Upset? Then I would like you to think a
moment about what you can do.
First place did you always remember your mother? Or once in awhile
did you forget because you were busy and the day came and went. All of
the ads, the decorations, the florist admonitions reminding you failed
to make you send that card or make that call.
My husband was a very special human being. Being a pilot in the Air
Force took him away from home and he missed birthdays, holidays, special
programs the children were in, Christmas and, of course, Mother’s day.
When he returned, he would apologize for forgetting these days but
his return was so special and we were so glad to have him home we came
to realize that the truly special days in our lives were the days when
we were together as a family.
The Saturday mornings when he was home and would put on a record of
Sousa’s marches to wake us for the breakfast he was preparing or to
hurry us to dress and take us to a new restaurant for breakfast or
moving everything to the picnic table in the back yard and we would
breakfast there.
Each time he returned was like all the holidays rolled into one as he
unpacked his bag and drew forth gifts and mementos from the places he
had been. How could one be upset because he had failed to remember us on
the actual date of any event?
Once one of our children complained because dad was not there for
some event and I said “No, we will not complain. This is the way your
father earns our living. He misses us as much as we miss him and I won’t
allow you to make him feel bad because his job took him somewhere else.”
When he retired though we expected him to remember our birthdays, our
events and the special calendar days that businesses have turned into a
successful venture. And for the most part he did.
But sometimes the day would come and go without any acknowledgement.
Since we are prompted and geared by the ads, the promises encouraged to
make the day profitable; we often ended up with a thought that because
he forgot, he didn’t love us.
Now if that is what bugs you, I have a solution. Keep a yearly
calendar in a prominent place; ours was on the pantry door. Circle each
special day in red and write out why it should be remembered.
A month in advance start talking about the day. Say something like
“Oh can you believe Mother’s day is just a month away?” Or “My birthday
is just a month away?”
You get the picture? At the dinner table or at breakfast, you say
“You know I have been thinking about where I would like to go for
Mother’s Day.” Every several days you say “I think I would like to try
that new restaurant for Mother’s Day. What do you think about that?”
Then about two weeks before you say “Oh I have been thinking if you
want to give me something for Mother’s Day I think I would like….” and
here you say what you would like just in case any one would like to give
you something for Mother’s Day.
Now when Mother’s Day arrives and the family takes you to the
restaurant you mentioned and gives you the gift you suggested, you
Must be Surprised and say “How did you know this is what I wanted?”
And of course your thanks should be profuse.
And when your family and children act like it was ALL THEIR IDEA
you just smile and think Hmm where do I want to dine next year
and What would I like to have and Is March too early to
begin to mention my ideas??
anna alexander
April 29, 2006©
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