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It's Not
Crapper
By Alex Carrier
Poor Thomas Crapper. An
unfortunate surname and the
ignominy of being associated
with, of all things, invention
of the toilet.
January 27th is set aside as
Thomas Crapper Day. It is the
anniversary of his demise not
his birth – yet another low
blow.
I admit, I gave merit to all the
stories about connections to the
name and the invention until I
discover that all this talk
about Thomas and the toilet is
well – pretty much – crap.
First, the word crap has roots
well back into the Middle Ages -
long before Thomas made his way
into this world.
In Wallace Reyburn’s biography
of Crapper Flushed with Pride,
Thomas’ death is placed as
January 17, 1910. After a decade
long battle clogged the courts
with papers, photos and finally
a death certificate, the date
was officially changed to
January 27th. Hence, Thomas
Crapper Day.
And, while Thomas Crapper did
own a plumbing company of
sorts and did have patents on
drains, joints and manhole
covers, he did not invent the
toilet.
So, on this Happy Thomas Crapper
Day, I thank the deceased for
not starting the war between the
sexes over whether the toilet
lid stays up or down.
Hello, it’s a lid. Lids go on
top of things. It should stay
down when not in use.
I will also refrain from casting
aspersions on poor Thomas for
the debate between toilet tissue
elitists over the proper
placement of the roll on the
holder. Does the paper roll down
the top or come up from the
bottom?
 I
vote for over the top since the
decorated sheet is on top.
What’s the point of having a
decorated sheet on 2-ply tissue
if you put it on the bottom
where it cannot be seen
properly?
And, no getting bunched up over
exactly when the fan should be
turned on, double flushing, not
flushing and leaving just one
sheet on the roll so the next
person has to take care of
replacing the toilet tissue.
On Thomas Crapper Day, I say
thank you for just being you,
Thomas. Bet that’s a load off
his mind. |
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